Alhamdulillah

Assalammualaikum lovelies,

Sorry for falling behind on updates and whatnot. Things have been a whirlwind of events and somehow I feel like I am still floating on something I have not quite put my head around.

Alhamdulillah, after jumping from one temporary job to another I have now been taken in for a permanent job. Three jobs later and I'm finally joining the work force for real and I am ever so grateful for this very important transition in my life. I feel like being an Apprentice in Shell for five months really gave the kick to what sort of an employee/employer I'd be. Well this is the sixth job I've been in since I first decided to get work experience but being in Shell really did the trick. The work ethics there actually gave me a visual of the kind of work place environment I'd like to create. I pray that Allah SWT will give me the strength that I need to stand up tall and make a difference. InsyAllah.

Anyway, on another note, I am missing my friends! The things that we've experienced as Apprentices are sure to be heard of in tales and legends of tomorrow LOL. I don't think I have ever been in situations where a lot of emotions are involved, especially when it felt like we were all being played with by so many people. It's so hard to put up with people whom you have just met for a few months but make it as if you've known each other for a long time and then cross you over like you're a rag doll only to comb your hair again to make you feel like Barbie. You see the picture that I'm trying to paint here?

All I'm saying is that in terms of friendship I look for camaraderie that revolves around trust and the right niat to support each other. To be there for one another and to encourage each other to do good things for our own deen. It's just terribly sad to know that somebody who I confided in and helped soooo many times is actually the very person I have grown to hate in the span of a split second. I hate feeling used and I hate it more finding out that this person has used my other friends as well. Being an apprentice there really showed me how it is being in a huge organisation, it was like being in a gigantic different world altogether and everyone was there for you but only to use you to their own benefit.

And not to diss and attack just one particular person (although who am I kidding, I am doing exactly that right now) but people ought to be careful what they wish for. I was sort of taken aback one time when I was put in a made-up scenario wherein I was gonna have no friends when everyone else's got their own destinations. I didn't want to point this out in front of my friends before I left but they themselves reminded me of the same predicament that was predicted of me actually happening to the person who made that scenario for me. Do you know what I mean? It kinda hurts to see somebody whom you used to be so close to now become your very enemy. I have corrected situations many times before and still the same thing happens. It's always a circle of me trying to adjust things and then me in the end taken for granted for and humiliated in front of the entire universe. It gets really tiring.

I don't know, dealing with personalities is surely hard but I have always been the sort of person who can handle different people easily but when it involves the wrong niat coming from that person himself then the chemistry just tend to fall apart. And I am the sort of person who thinks with my instincts most of the time and being around this person turns my radar off the chart in a 360 degree turn.

Ah well Allah maha adil and good things will happen to those who wait with patience. I really do believe in this one thing. The way I see it, I was put in a situation where Allah tested me with his powers and I endured it with sabar and dzikir. I only wish the best for people and I hope that those who are lost will find their way. InsyAllah, Allah will always show His love to us by making things happen to us. If He doesn't test us enough it doesn't mean He doesn't love us, it just means that we have to be prepared for the other obstacles that may befall upon us. In my almost 26 years, I have gone through so many and only Allah knows how much I have to endure. Alhamdulillah I am now a much stronger person.

I pray that He will make me a stronger person. I feel like something major is going to happen. Just need to brace myself and be prepared for this.

I guess that's all the update that I can give right now. Will post better posts later!

Xx