...I told myself I can change; and just as Shaytan started messing with my mind, I firmly told myself: I am a slave of Allah. My job is to take a step and it is Allah’s will if He wants me to get to the end of this road, He will help me through it. I promised myself that this time I will change, and even if I failed, I had firm faith in Allah’s mercy, and that no matter what the end result would be, at least on the Day of Judgement I would be able to tell Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala that at least I tried, at least I took a step.
The first time I went to a dinner party with my hijab and niqab I was extremely nervous. As I entered I kept looking at my feet, trying to avoid the negative vibes that came from the fashion-conscious aunties. I felt that I didn’t have the courage to face them. My mind kept telling me, don’t look up, don’t look at them, just ignore them. I secretly made du’a to Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala to create ease for me in this step, and my heart then told me: it’s time to face them.
Something in my mind instantly replied, no, what must they all be thinking about you?
I humbly looked up, smiling to myself, and answered that daunting question with a simple reply: I don’t care what people think.
And that was the day when I actually understood the reality of these words. That was the day when these words came from my heart and I understood that when you do something for your Lord, then it is His Mercy that surrounds your heart and thus you give in to true submission to Him; and that is when He makes the trials of this world very easy.
When the hearts are fully submerged in the ocean of submission to Him — that is when the high tides of this world cause no harm to the one who is already overcome –overcome by the storm of Hubbu lillah (love for Allah).