I would like to share with you a documentary about rollerblading that's been shot and edited by a friend of mine in Melbourne.
While you're watching this video, I would like you to listen to the message that it bears because it has a real strong connection to what I'm trying to represent as a person.
Being somewhat of a weirdo with accented beliefs on so many things that are deemed inappropriate or sensitive by so many people, I have always been a subject of criticism since realising the ground I'm standing on, voicing out and holding on firmly to my passionate affairs. Sometimes it sucks to be me, but most of the time I don't give a rats "bum" (although sometimes finding out what people say about me can be useful to help me tone down or amplify what I so much love to do).
I find that being in Brunei, being amongst people who are of the same nationality as I am, can be a lot harder to blend in with than when I'm away from home. I have been away for so long and now is the longest time I've stayed in Brunei since graduation. I have never seen myself as somebody who'd stay in Brunei for a living but I have not been given the opportunity to work elsewhere. I am redha with the amount of rezeki that have been given to me as of now but the amount of dugaan that I have to endure sometimes is just too much. Much much more than I can bear but I have promised myself that I will not give up because I know Allah has a better plan for myself. For the past nine months of being here, I can say that life has been a bit of a struggle to fathom.
It's so hard to live amongst people who don't accept you for who you are. It's a struggle to stand up for what you believe in here. It's such a hassle to want to break down barriers between people because people are always going to judge. That sucks so much. My biggest struggle is of language. People don't get why I can't understand what they're saying. Lets just say I was raised a different way than most people and what most people would see as a blessing, I see it as a curse because it divides me from a lot of people. That is why, even now, I don't really like to go outside of my "support group" because people just don't get me. People who I grew up with would understand and I am very thankful for the amount of years they have stayed patient with me. Through our ups and downs, some of my best of friends never fail to give me their support and voice out the things that they don't fancy.
And when I was in Melbourne, I met with a lot of people with the same interests as I have. We can talk about movies and music and BOOKS (ftw) without any care in the world. It's this kind of passion that brings us all together and what I like the most about this is that we don't need to be of the same colour, the same religion or the same race to get along, all we need is our interests and it goes from there.
This is where my rollerblading friends come in. When my boyfriend came to study in Melbourne, we met with a lot of people who'd take us along with them to skate at different spots around Victoria. We don't all share the same story but we have the same understanding of being somewhat of an outcast in a society that derives a lot of meaning from Money. I, as a person, do not agree that money brings you happiness because it's all single serving for me. What I live for is the connection we have with the things that we love and that's what all these rollerbladers attempt to represent. It's nice having friends who don't care about my hijab, and it's always nice to answer their curiosities about Islam and about being of Bruneian decent (which bears a different kind of meaning to different people). In return, it's always lovely to learn about themselves, to listen to their life stories and the struggles that they've been through. This is how I know that I've never been alone and I'm glad that I'm friends with these people. Despite coming from different places around the world, it's safe to say we're like family.
So please, if you're interested to watch the video, do, and listen to what they're saying and get to understand what struggle is in a community that strives to grow and let the world know of its message. If you understand, it's best to apply it to yourselves and let us all live in a better place :D
Good night!
xx
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